Stages: Denial,Confusion and Anger

ever feel like there is this one memory
that you wish to erase?
wish to forget?
 Wished that never happened?

 Yet at the same time
dont ever want to forget it?
 you dont ever want to forget it,
that you keep replaying the memories
every time they begin to get hazy?

 Have you ever loved someone
 so much that you wished you didn't??
Because never loving them
would hurt a lot lesser
than still being in love with them
long after they have gone?

Where do you go from there?
How do you pick up the pieces
 of your broken heart, and fix it?..

 Still.. you don't want to fix it entirely,
because you know fixing it
 would mean erasing the memories.

 As much as I wish to believe I've moved on,
 It's harder than you could ever imagine.
 It hurts not to think about you,
It hurts even more to think about you. 


To that person,I write this:

 Part of me wants to hear your voice again, part of me wants to just get back to the way things were- the pain, the trickery, the shame.

But a part of me  also wishes you were dead.


[Written on 2/20/2011]