Thoughts-scrambeled and messy.

I wished upon a shooting star
A long long time ago
I wish upon a shooting star
I wished that you wouldn't go..
I wished so hard..and prayed and prayed
that you would stay with me
By my side....

You were my strength...i gave you my soul
You wer my world...

Yet somewhere along the way...I stumbled...
Yet somewhere along the way...I was stupid
And now...you are gone..

(so much for wishing upon a star...)

But that was a long long time ago..
Back then..I was a child..there was a lot I dint not know.

Years have passed..and alot has changed.
A hundred tears or more I'v shed...
Mistakes Iv made over and over again.

I saw you one day as I hid behind the tree..
I saw you with her...you seemed as happy as can be.
and I know this isnt right..
But I have just one question to ask you.

Over the many years...
Have you ever once thought of me?
Have you ever cried into your pillow
wishing that you could just talk to me?
Have you looked around the corner
wishing you could see me?

I know its wrong, this question I ask you.
but i'm deeply sorry..
because I haven't forgotten you.
I try and I try...quite often it works.
There you go again...creeping back into my brain.

You were my strength...I gave you my soul
You were my world...

But now time has passed...
And I must move on..
It hasn't been easy
Not one bit..not even for a second...
...not once, not at all.


But honestly,
I'm truly happy for you..
(even though my heart is broken beyond repair..)
I'm happy for you..and glad that you have someone who loves you and cares.
I wish you good luck
from now till the end.
And i hope she knows how lucky she is..
To have you in her life..
with so much love that you share.


And I hope some day that I may also find..
that warmth,
that safety,
that love .

But for now, I work
on mending my broken  heart
For now, I work.
I need a fresh start.

For now,
All I can do is hope..


[written on 21/04/2011]